What's left?

Justin and I talk every day. If we don't, it's usually for a pretty good reason. The subject of Dad comes up more often than we want it to. We worry—a lot. We want to rescue him and make things better. We get mad - a lot. We want him to rescue himself, to see the bigger picture, and he doesn't.

One of the conversations with Dad was that her son had mentioned that when Dad died he wanted the land. We found out from another family member. We were shocked. Justin and I then realized we had to sit with Dad and have a hard conversation about things when he was gone. We needed to get it in writing on a will because we knew the minute that Dad died, Justin and I were going to have a very nasty mess on our hands that was going to be ugly. We also knew that if she was there while the will was being drafted it would change what Dad would want to do because of the manipulation tactics that we see on a REGULAR basis. So Justin and I wanted to be a part just to ensure that Dad was really getting to do things the way he wanted.

And let me be clear...... for those who have said otherwise.....

Justin and I are not in it for money or things. We are more interested in the legacy we can hand down to our kids, and them - to their kids. There is no money. What money? She took it all! We want the things that were our grandmother's or grandfather's. Things that have memories or special meaning to him. And WE ARE HIS KIDS! HIS BIOLOGICAL, DNA SHARING, LOOK KINDA LIKE HIM, ONLY LEGAL beneficiaries he has.

I will also add. If my dad walked away from "that situation" today with nothing but the clothes on his back, that would be the greatest gift he could EVER give us. We would welcome him with open arms and provide for his every need.

As you can tell, it's a subject I get a little worked up about.

We planned it all out and Dad randomly asked us to lunch one day, so we agreed to meet at a sandwich shop and we decided with hesitation that we would bring up the idea of him drafting a will. We didn't know what the conversation would lead to. When Dad doesn't want to hear what you are saying he says, "I know" or in text "k." We honestly figured that all we would hear was "I know"

We sat to eat, and ironically, he brought up the subject. It was the whole reason he wanted to talk to us, but that he was going to give the land to her son. Because he had already done so much work on it, and everything else would go to me and Justin. (This is another situation that I won't comment on publicly, but I will gladly tell you in private what I think about it. It's more manipulation. )

We sat for a bit and listened to Dad list off the things he wanted us to have, and we shared with him that we had wanted to talk to him about putting together a will because we know that they only play nice for his "benefit."

Justin and I also told him that we didn't care about how many payments he had left on this or that and if he needed us to help to let him know. He said no he had it taken care of he just wanted us to know. We told him that we would do whatever he wanted to do and what made him happy. And that is the HONEST truth.

He asked us for our honest opinion. We were nice but we were honest. We told him we thought he was being manipulated into giving the land away. We told him that we felt he was being taken advantage of and he didn't disagree. We told him that even though we thought that way it was his to do what he wanted to, and we would honor whatever he wanted. We did later that day tell him that we thought it would be fair if he sold the land for the price that he had to "re-buy" it. It would pay off the remaining balance on the account and put some money in his account to pay off debts that he stays stress about, or just let him have some fun money. Again, whatever he wanted.

This conversation was different than our previous ones. He didn't sit and say "I know" or "Ok" he actually had a conversation with us. He even stated, "I don't know why I keep her around, my feelings have changed."

It was a very long conversation and the tone was so different that when Justin and I talked later it took a while to process it all. But I'm not gonna lie, when he said "I don't know why I keep her around, my feelings have changed," for a moment I had hope.

We had planned on meeting at Dad's house a couple of weeks later to sort thru things and put them in a will. We asked that the will not be kept at his house and he agreed. It was so different than normal.

But we still haven't been able to get the will done. What took place over the next month was insanity at it's best. Just wait.

But whatever it takes for Dad to have what he wants and deserves.