Bizarre Conversations

Justin and I did stay at the hospital most of the day. The next day , I knew that Dad would be dismissed from the hospital so we both went to work. Dad texted and I had left my charger in the hospital room. I told him I would run by and get it. But then he proceeded to text a bizarre string that confused us to the point I was convinced she had his phone and was texting.

It said:

"I was wanting to tell you I know y'all was texting each other and I don't know if it was good or bad but I fill like it kinda hurt me and yall wonder why I don't call yall fills disrespect if yall don't wanna be around her then we will figure something out

Yall got up and walked out when you went to eat and didn't even ask if she or me want something and that hurt too

I understand y'alls point of view but need to figure a way we can all get along"

Instantly, Justin and I were on the phone with one another trying to figure this out. Yes, we were texting but not that much and food was offered to her multiple times and she said no. I offered her the items I had in my bag multiple times. The reason that Justin and I left the room was because Dad said I'm tired, think I'm gonna take a nap and he rolled over (by the way he was not allowed any food but ice chips, so we didn't offer). We tried to quietly leave the room.

My response said that I was sorry he got his feelings hurt and that it wasn't fair because I had offered her food and it had been made clear by her and her son that we weren't welcome in that room.

He texted back that at my niece's birthday party that "she' went home crying because my niece wouldn't hug her and that if it wasn't for her he wouldn't be able to buy some of the gifts or Christmas and that she is treated like a monster and that from now on he would be coming to family events on his own (no heartbreak here).

Justin replied that we needed to have this conversation in person and not over text and he agreed. I explained that we told him that this wouldn't be easy and that we were trying our best. There are layers to this and it was going to take a while. I said that we definitely made steps to try and be around her and that it would be appreciated if the efforts and kindness that we had made were acknowledged.

After that his conversation went completely back to normal talking about what the Dr. said and chit chatting about an exercise bike he had that he needed to get rid of and taking his camper to get fixed. It was beyond bizarre.

I left work and went to his house to get my charger. He had only been home for 5-10 minutes. I asked him if Justin and I could take him to lunch that following Tuesday to discuss the text messages and he said yeah sure

But again...the oddest 30 minute conversation followed that comment. He was trying to justify the texts but he rambled... a lot. It was very reminiscent of the times that he had been drinking and was headed off of a "buzzed" level to full blown drunk. But I knew he hadn't been drinking or anything because he just go out of the hospital.

He talked around everything you could imagine from no one visits cemeteries anymore so he wants to be cremated, to that he still cares about my mom, to his relationship with his mom and dad, to how he doesn't care about anything and he has no emotions about anything. He commented on a recent family passing and that he didn't care about it (which I know this isn't true), and I honestly can't tell you all the things he talked about. It was disconnected and random. The thing that made my jaw drop was that he said on the way home from the hospital they were looking at land by the lake so he and her could just move away and "not hurt anyone anymore"

I kinda lost it. I said "are you kidding me?" You would move away with her when she is the cause of all the hurt in the first place? You would leave your kids and grandkids to be with her? I sat stunned in silence and he backtracked really quickly.

He stated again that she would just stay away from family events and I said "fine, that's her choice, I don't care."

He still spun the conversation and I was spinning. I couldn't keep up with every topic he covered, but it was so cold and disconnected. I asked him questions to clarify what he was saying and kept him accountable for the dumb things he said. I addressed everything in his texts but it didn't seem to matter.

I just don't seem to understand why he so fiercely defends her. Why what he thinks Justin and I do is held at a different standard than her. EVERYTHING we have done and said is to protect him.

On the way home I called Justin (of course) bawling because I was so concerned at how that conversation just happened and the way he was talking and there was nothing I could do. What is going on? That wasn't my normal Dad that I talked to .

Whatever it takes...... what will it take?